Letter to the Editor I sent the Daily Campus

On the surface, the 2008 school year started like the other three I have been privy to in my tenure here at UConn: Moving back in, seeing old friends, and readjusting to the grind of an academic workload. However, three things in particular have left me quite agitated. What am I talking about?

Let's address grievance number one in mystery novel fashion. I am sending this letter to the editor via Gmail. Why would I, a UConn student, disregard my Huskymail so? Maybe because it's terrible. It's so slow, in fact, that I have been interjecting tasks in between perusing my e-mail, so as to reduce down time. For example: Open inbox, make breakfast. Click on an e-mail, take a shower. Send a reply, solve the Riemann zeta-hypothesis. Huskymail is so slow, if I sent this e-mail from my student account, I could beat it to campus in a footrace. The whole new Students page is the same way. Slow, faulty, won't work in Bookworms, (haven't tried elsewhere on campus, but I'm not hopeful), you get the point.

Agitated by the futility of the Students page, I head to campus for my classes. I turn into W Lot, just as I have for the past two years. Only this year, I pull into the lot to find a scene reminiscent of all the cars trying to leave New York City in Independence Day. My bus comes and goes as I drive around in circles looking for a spot. I bite the bullet and park in the employee lot in the very back of W, operating under the assumption that being on time to class is somewhat important. Thus far, I have not been ticketed (thank you, UConn parking. I mean that). I already paid 86 dollars for my commuter pass, so 35 a pop for parking tickets does not appeal to me. Parking services informs me that the lot won't clear up until about the 25th, and that there are spots in F lot, behind Dunkin Donuts. No. I like W Lot. It's on the way, and it has buses that go where I'm going.

Dejected, I later take solace in the fact that I get to eat lunch. God bless America. I enter the dining hall only to find good ol' UConn has gone trayless. I do my best Ringling Bros. balancing act, which I will explain in detail. My silverware is in my pocket. My plate, full of food, now acts as my tray. I put a salad bowl on my plate, covering it in ketchup and other messy amenities later to end up on my shirt. A former two-drink diner, I hold my one drink in my hand as I pray that no one bumps me, starting an impromptu mid-90s kid's movie food fight. If this is the best we can do to go Green, I'm buying a H3.

I'll close by saying exactly what I said to my TV during the UConn/Temple football game. Come on UConn. You're better than that.