Where do these weird phrases come from?

So I was in my car, listening to Z-100.

Let's stop right there. You may be thinking to yourself, Ryan, you hate pop music, why were you listening to Z-100? Very good question. Glad you brought that up. There are several reasons.

A. I broke my tape adapter.

My tape adapter, to me, was my musical lifeline while in my car. That beautiful piece of equipment would respond to my every whim. Having nearly 4,000 songs at your disposal when you're already a picky music fan is certainly a bonus. Anyway, broke that. Haven't gotten a new one yet. Probably should.

B. My CDs are...problematic?

I haven't really gotten any new CDs in the past 4 or 5 years, as I'll either download off iTunes or pirate music like a real American. Thus, my CD collection represents the Ryan of 9th or 10th grade just a liiittlle too much. Plus, they all skip and piss me off.

C. What are my other options?

Classic Rock stations are insanely irritating in that there are several decades of rock music one may deem "classic," yet I don't think the playlist on these stations has changed in 10 or 12 years. It drives me crazy for some reason. KROQ, the old standby for rock music in this area, is now ANOTHER pop station. I'm not interested in country, salsa, or talk radio. So...

I was listening to Z100. Sean Kingston's latest assault on my earlobes comes on. I start punching inanimate objects left and right, uncontrollably. It's a reflex I have. But then, in the midst of my agony, my mind, being of an inquisitive nature, settled on something to overanalyze. "Shorty."

Just begging to be kicked in the face.

Kingston's busy blathering away about the club (can he even get in?) in his 13 year old overwrought Jamaican accent, but I can't help noticing every 3 or 4 words he drops "Shorty" again. That got me thinking. Why the hell do rappers and wannabe Jamaican R&B singers say "shorty?" What is the origin of this phrase? At what point does a word that sounds like a pejorative aimed at little people become slang for an attractive woman? Are these people trying to say that hot women are like midgets?

Be wary of this line of thought, because it'll only lead you down a slippery slope of mental anguish. Why do we say, "baby?" Isnt' that kind of creepy? How come in the 70's, rockers used to say "little girl?" Isn't that even creepier? What about rad? hip? dawg? da bomb? cool? phat (really???), foxy, money, AAAAAAAH. The list goes on and on.

That's when I realized you just can't question these things. Satisfied with giving up, I tuned back into reality, where Kingston continued to make a compelling argument as to why someone should take him out close range with a crossbow to the face. I changed the station.

Kelly Clarkson.

Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

MY LIFE! WOULD SUCK! WITHOUUUUUUTTT YOUUUUUUUU!!!

You could say that about my tape adapter.