At the end of my last post, I said that I'd keep my eye open for news that brings my piss to a boil. Well, the kettle's fucking whistling. Are Octo-mom and Blago new news? No. Are they related in any way? Not outwardly. But it was when I read an article about each one of these fuckwads in the same day that I snapped and decided The Douche had to get involed. It's just too much bullshit in the same day.
Let's start with that piece of shit, the Octo-mom. Her name is Nadya Suleman, but who fucking cares. I hate this person. Really, the picture I posted says it all. For anyone who has the good fortune of being more out of the loop than me, this crazed psychopath already had SIX children, living in a 3 bedroom apartment with Octo-bitch and her parents. Then, she decides to have SIX more, only two of the embryos split, and woudln't you know it, she's got eight on the way. Yeah, that's right, this unemployed single mother who lives with her parents now has fourteen children.
But that's not the bad part. The bad part is that we know about it. Why? Because of the fact that we know about it, everybody knows about it. Because of the fact that everybody knows about it, bleeding-heart carefree assholes know about it. Because of the fact that they know about it, they're throwing Octo-mom money every which way, for new living arrangements, furniture, clothes, diapers, blah blah blah. This horrid woman is our country's latest charity case. Instead of the satisfying feeling you might get from seeing Social Services haul her Brady-Bunch-Ain't-Got-Shit-On-This zoo full of kids out the door while she sobs her silicone lips off, it appears that Octo-mom will be just fine. Hell, even better. Of course she'll have plenty more talk show appearances, follow-up news stories, probably an action figure and a clothing line. We've handed this woman a fortune on a silver platter as a direct result of some of the most recklessly irresponsible behavior this country has ever seen.
What a career, huh? I imagine most of you reading this are in college, working your ass off to maybe end up with a good job after graduation. How much does it chap your ass that this freak is soaking it all in: donations, taxpayer money, while she's essentially a professional uterus? Hey ladies, whatever you're trying to do after college, clearly it's not as profitable as squirting a few dozen babies out eight at a time and allowing the country to rally around you. Fucking America. Octo-mom should be shot. Give the kids to Brangelina; at least one enormous-lipped woman has the means to care for them.
Blagojevich, the other asshole in the festering cesspool of shit I'm a'cookin tonight, is really no better. You all know the story, he was impeached and stripped of his Gubernatorial (that's Governor, to you) duties for conspiracy to commit fraud, and even more fun, for trying to sell Obama's empty Senate seat to the highest bidder. The media likes to call Blagojevich "Blago..." I much prefer "Fagojebitch." Eh? Nice ring to it, huh? It will be abbreviated henceforth as Fago.
Corruption in government, it's nothing new, right? I mean, Spitzer got caught banging that hooker, this is no worse. Wrong. It's worse, because Fago just signed a book deal worth somewhere between 400-500 thousand dollars. America, land of the free, home of the brave, and country where you can bastardize and piss all over the people of Illinois, get impeached, and instead of living out your days in shame, some sleazy publisher hands you a check for half a million to tell your story. You know, I don't recall reading the "Charlie Manson Story," or "Timothy McVeigh: The Man, the Myth, the OKC Bomber." Oh, because they're VIOLENT offenders. Fago is just a white collar criminal, and really, making a total mockery of an important government position is no big deal, I mean, who cares? Apparently some legislators are trying to get this stopped, seeing the same infuriating problem with the whole thing as I do. Thank God I'm not the only one.
The overarching theme in all this, of course, is unjust reward. Both Fago and Octo-whore did despicable things: Fraud, corruption, and eventual impeachment, and bringing 8 children into an insufficient-sized house with no income and requiring help from your aging parents who have already admitted being worn out simply taking care of the FIRST six kids. People do despicable things all the time. The problem is that they are, in a sense, being rewarded. Octo-mom is all set now that morons across the country feel bad for her instead of angry, and are setting a fine example in rewarding her selfishness and irresponsibility. If Fago's book deal goes through, he's sitting on half a million for admitting his wrongdoing. Wow, what a deal! Too bad I'm not significant enough to commit a horrid white-collar crime so that I could later profit off of it. I can see it now:
"Whoops! I stole all of your retirement money and got caught,
by Ryan Prescott, ex-CEO"
God bless America.
3 comments:
I prefer to call her octopussy.
But aside from that, I find the Pope and AIG each more frustrating. AIG takes government (tax payers/your) money to pay 165 million in executive bonuses, and the Pope advises Africa not to use condoms to fight AIDS, as it only worsens the problem.
I say the Pope Benedict XVI is the biggest douchebag on the planet.
Wow I'm pissed already...
Yeah, clearly an epic douchebag move by the Pope, but the real culprit is the Catholic Church as a whole. Of course the Pope has to advise people against using condoms. When you take the reigns as Pope I feel like there's not a whole lot of wiggle room, your views are the Bible's. So it's not so much the Pope but the Catholic Church's interpretation of the Bible.
As far as AIG...fucking douchebags.
The catholic church accepted the theory of Gravity with in the last 50 years. Whatever they have to say about anything can be completely ignored by non catholics.
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