Ten greatest movie theme songs.

You wouldn't know it at first, but living among us, among all the crap and bile floating around this pee-pool we call society, are some things that do not suck. These things are in fact, cool. I am, of course, reiterating that I don't actually hate everything. Some things are awesome. This entry is about things that are awesome.

During the snow day this past week, I watched Back to the Future 2 and 3. I had never seen 3, and while not quite up there with 1 and 2, it still kicks ass. And so does the theme song. It's awesome. It's inspiring, and I love it. So while I was thinking about how cool the theme song is, and situations in my life where it might be appropriate (every time I enter a room?), I decided I would do a little top ten... in no particular order, because ranking things is a real bitch. Without any further ado, the Top Ten Movie theme songs!

1. Back to the Future:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zSw2V_vW0Y
No surprise here. After all, the Back to the Future theme was the segue into the top ten. So, as for the theme music, it's awesome. It does everything a full-scale orchestral theme song should. Inspires one, pumps one up, and fills one with visions of fluxcapacitors and 1.21 Gigawatts of energy. Even that asshole Biff would love this theme song. Now where the hell is my hoverboard?

2. Star Wars:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjMNNpIksaI
Obvious. There shouldn't be any head-scratchers in the first few selections here. The Star Wars theme is one of the most classic epic theme songs of all time. Right now you're thinking of that background of space where the narrowing text scrolls over and tells an unnecessarily complicated version of what the hell's going on. I mean, you're bound to figure it out in a few minutes once the movie starts, but who cares. This theme song kicks ass.

3. Jurassic Park:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQTWNjr25WQ
Also obvious. I think the theme song actually outdoes the epicness of the movie itself, to tell the truth. Mind you, this movie is about escaped dinosaurs wreaking havoc on an island. So you tell me what that says about the theme song. Lots of glorious horn-playing in this one. I'd imagine the Pearly Gates have a similar soundtrack.

4. Pirates of the Carribean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LZcMv0H1bI&feature=related
Our good friends Captain Jack, Will Turner, and that fine ass Elizabeth would swordfight around to nothing less. Fantastic string section that makes you want to take to the high seas. Raping and pillaging, that's your game. God, you're a douchebag. I would go so far as to say that this song is rousing. Yes, rousing.

5. Requiem for a Dream:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKLpJtvzlEI&feature=related
Ah, a twist. While all the theme songs up to this point have been lively, uplifting, and adventurous, now it's time for me to sucker punch you in the mouth with this one. This one has a slow pulsing beat that's designed to depress the crap out of you. But it doesn't slouch on the epic factor, no. Epicness comes in many forms. If you ever want to sit by yourself and think about how your life is in the shitter, this is the soundtrack for you. (I'd never heard this version, it actually picks up towards the middle and becomes rousing. Yeah, that's right, rousing.)

6. Rocky:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PtvLTZS4Ik
Disclaimer: I've never seen this movie. Fuck you, I'm working on it. Good theme song, fantastic marching band material (I'm looking at you, UConn pep band), and despite me never having seen the movie to you I have seen enough clips and parodies to be able to construct a fairly perfect synopsis of this song's use in the movie. It's a montage whereupon Rocky is running up and down all those stairs in Philly, drinking raw eggs, and raising his arms above his head a lot. Pretty close?

7. Bond. James Bond.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0&feature=related
You're thinking of Sean Connery right now, aren't you? Yeah, me too. But when am I not? This theme song is great, and for some reason built a strong association between this type of swinging big band music and spies. Who would have thought? Love that chord at the end. Legendary.

8. Jaws
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qhe08b3XgE
This movie is a favorite of mine. I have a strange fascination with those evil creatures of death, Great White Sharks. How the fuck did Richard Dreyfuss have the balls to get in that cage with Jaws' humongous ass in the water? The theme song starts off slow and brooding, and uses the effect of quickly getting louder to symbolize your impending death when his bad ass is comin' for ya. Love Jaws, love the theme. Oh, but the sequels are enormous piles of shit. Miserably bad.

9. Shawshank Redemption:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTeE4wdfEVY&feature=related
A few years ago I officially anointed this as my favorite movie. In Shawshank's case, the "theme song" wasn't as painfully obvious as the others on the list, but there's no way this song couldn't be on here. No goddamn way. When this song cues up at the end of the movie I fight the urge to cry EVERY TIME. And this is from a hulking, bear-wrestling, whiskey-drinking, shave-with-a-rusty-jackknife man's man. Oh, and if for some reason you haven't seen this movie, stop reading and go watch it. Better yourself.

10. Braveheart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifr4aGA2o_A
Explaining why songs like these deserve recognition is getting old. The Braveheart theme is great and different from a lot of the rest on the list. The use of bagpipes will do that. Also it has a lot of quieter parts with flute stealing the spotlight. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to like a good flute. So, too, should you. Unite us. Unite our clans.

Honorable Mentions:
Indiana Jones - I'm sure I'll catch heat for this, but the theme song is cheesy. That's fine, because the movies themselves are cheesy, and that's certainly their appeal. I just find nothing stirring about the Indy theme. I want stirring.

Mission Impossible - Cool theme, just not cool enough to dethrone the Bond theme. For some reason I just couldn't include both. I don't know why.

The A-Team - This is a show, which is why it wasn't on the list. The song is fantastic. I hear there's a movie rumored to come out this year. I don't really care, but I like the theme.

So there you have it. The ten greatest theme songs in movie history (again, no particular order). Just like SportsCenter and Letterman, I can't avoid a good top ten. Feel free to disagree with me, arguing is just the cat's pajamas for me. Adieu.