When I close my eyes to ponder, I ponder many things. I ponder about social inequality in this country. I ponder why the grass is green, the sky blue. I ponder why the word "ponder" fails to rhyme with the word "wonder." But of all my pondrances, there is one practically perpetual pondrance that plagues my pondrance-packed pallette.
When the hell did rainbow parties happen?
For those of you who aren't quite hip, rainbow parties are parties in which a bunch of girls wearing different colored lipstick take turns blowing some dude, after which his man-cannon resembles patterned refracted light.
Concerned news anchors and talk show hosts across the country ran specials on these parties, expressing sadness and concern. Meanwhile, I sat in my room, expressing sadness and concern. Some people just have all the luck. I never got invited to any gosh darned rainbow parties! What, was my invitation lost in the mail?
In fact, no one I ever spoke with actually knew about one of these parties happening. I'm starting to believe it was just an amusing concept...an early UrbanDictionary type term, that was taken seriously by an uptight mother or something, and made its way to the forefront. Yeah. That's my rationalization.
But as I sit in my thinking chair (the toilet, obviously) and ponder, I can't help think about that rainbow party that got away. Maybe it was out there. Maybe...
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